COUPLE'S THERAPY

“Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing,
there is a field. I will meet you there.” -Rumi

Is your relationship suffering from infidelity?
Poor communication?
Have you become like room mates to each other?

There are few things as painful as losing loving contact with your partner. There are few things as joyful as re-establishing the connection and remembering why you fell in love in the first place, when your connection matters more than who is right; when being together is more important than winning.

The theory and methodology I use to work with couples is called Imago Relationship Therapy. I believe Imago theory is the most profound explanation for why we first fall in love and then struggle with the very person we once loved so fully. Imago's methodology is a set of concrete tools you will learn to use in talking with each other so you can hear and be heard safely. When that happens, you each grow individually and your relationship becomes greater than the sum of your two selves.

The general sequence in my office is that I teach you the Imago skills and help you get back into right relationship with each other. I then encourage you to practice these skills on your own at home, until you are able to maintain this right relationship without outside assistance. In my experience, the only real stumbling block is you doing the work at home. If you do it, it works. I also offer Imago couple's groups conjointly or as a transition for couples who are no longer in need of direct coaching.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ON COUPLE'S THERAPY

It is not my place to make such recommendations. I am, however, a passionate advocate for your relationship in whatever form it is supposed to take. When partners become connected without defense, whatever is supposed to happen will happen. In my experience, that almost always means staying together.
I recommend anyone coming commit to four sessions only. That's enough for you to decide if we're a good fit and if it's worth your time and money to continue with me. Most people are able to make that kind of commitment. If your partner is unwilling to make a four session commitment, I recommend you meet with me or another individual therapist to explore your options.
Yes. In most partnerships there's usually one who's less verbal. Don't worry about it. The dialogue method you'll learn helps the closed one to open more and the open one to learn to be patient. Men in particular respond well to the structure of this method and their partners are frequently amazed at how much they're willing to talk.
The two most significant differences in my opinion are: (a) seeing the couple's power struggle from the perspective of the meaningful growth trying to happen rather than dysfunctional behavior to be avoided and (b) the use of the "intentional dialogue" which allows partners to truly listen and feel heard.

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